NOTE: This post was written last Saturday (December 20th) and I wasn’t going to post it until I woke up this morning feeling sick and decided to spend all day in my apartment watching Portlandia and Star Trek: The Next Generation. Keep reading (it’s a short post) and you’ll understand why at the end.

I vacillate between believing everything happens for a reason and believing nothing does. But in general, I think if you ascribe reason to events, even if they suck, at least you can see utility in them. Believing everything happens for a reason means there are no coincidences*, which makes December 28th interesting.

December 28th is my Baptismal date and it’s also the day I’m set to receive the Tao. That’s right, I’m just collecting religions left and right! To be clear, I’m not necessarily going to be baptized on Sunday. The Sisters just set this as a goal. So barring a eureka lighting bolt of revelation, I’ll still be an investigator in a week. Before the Sisters told me this, I’d made arrangements to receive the Tao on Sunday. I don’t really know anything about Taoism besides the little bits they tell us at Chinese class every Saturday. So when one of my Chinese teachers asked if I wanted to receive the Tao and attend Tao classes, I thought: why not?

I don’t know if LDS and Taoism are mutually exclusive, but I’m gonna my an a** out of you and me and assume that they are. What a pickle jar I’ve dun screwed myself into**.

Do things like this happen to other people? Sometimes I think it must, but other times I think a lot of people choose to live within their comfort zones. But then I think, just because it doesn’t look like someone’s challenging himself or herself doesn’t mean they’re not. Limits are so subjective. Maybe for some, going outside the comfort zone means getting a sandwich from Quiznos instead of Subway. Maybe that’s as jarring and transformative an experience as moving to Taiwan to teach science, or moving to Mars***.

Chances are, on December 28th, I’ll feign illness, skip out on all commitments, and binge watch the 3rd season of Star Trek: The Next Generation from the comfort zone of my own bed.

*Einstein said God doesn’t play dice, to which I ask: then what does he play when he’s in Las Vegas if not craps, which is by far the best gambling game. To which anyone who’s ever actually been to Vegas would probably respond: AIN’T NO GOD IN VEGAS.

**And I don’t even like pickles!

***This is not the blog post where I announce I applied to Mars One and am now moving to Mars.


P.S. Did my mind will my body to become sick? Was this a coincidence? Did it happen for a reason? Am I not supposed to receive the Tao? Why is Q such a jerk? Can we send Q and the Borg into a black hole? Do Crusher and Jean-Luc ever get together for real? Can they do a Twin Peaks joke with Kyle Maclachlan on Portlandia?