For the record, this song could be called “Face Med School.” It could be. It’s not. WARNING: Do NOT listen if you are offended by: the F-word, med school, traditional medicine, and/or obnoxious laughing.
This audio was manufactured as part of the creative endeavor I started at the beginning of 2015. I had several friends send me 5 minutes of random audio that I would then use to make something interesting.
Several months ago, my friend Clare sent me 11 minutes of one of our Skype conversations, but I didn’t really listen to it analytically until early August. Early August happened to be a time when a lot of my friends were starting medical school, and thus, having their white coat ceremonies. Almost every day, my Facebook newsfeed would be filled with beautiful people in in their short white coats at their beautiful med school campuses like Cornell, Stanford, Northwestern, Harvard…*
Seeing these images inevitably inflicted a gut reaction: should I go to medical school? At one point, that was a real solid goal of mine. Long ago it melted away, but part of me thinks there’s still some residue clogging up my brain because semi-consciously I see these statuses and pictures and feel jealous. I remind myself that: MED SCHOOL IS NOT FOR EVERYONE AND IT IS CERTAINLY NOT FOR ME. But it’s still hard. I think the envy stems not from an internal desire to go to med school, but a desire to have a firm path. When you enter med school, you know what you’ll be doing for the next decade of your life. You know you will always have a job. That’s stability.
I literally have no idea what I’m doing after this year. It’s liberating, but also anxiety-provoking.
So this song was a way to forcefully eject the desire to go to med school from my brain, with the hopes that it would also make me feel better about having no concrete plans for anything ever in my entire life**. At the same time, I don’t want to offend my med school friends***. You guys are beautiful and your campuses are beautiful and your spirits are beautiful and you’re going to save the world one patient at a time. And also, if you ever need someone to crash on your couch or drive your car across the country, let me know.
The instrumentation on this audio track is all me, no Garage Band loops. I have an electric guitar that hooks up to my computer and a drum practice space in Taipei (thanks iMusic!) where I recorded the drum bits. The voices are (in order of first appearance): Clare, Erisa, Jenny.
*I feel like I get contact intelligence (e.g. contact high) by just knowing people that go to these medical schools.
**This is a lie. I have two life goals: 1) stay alive, and 2) be moderately happy. So far, I’ve been continuously accomplishing number one despite several interactions with dogs and snakes and scary people. I could be better at number two, but I could also be worse.
***My sister and both of my parents are doctors, so I don’t dislike doctors or people who choose to be doctors. I have had many doctors who treated my illnesses and provided me with proper preventative care that without them I would certainly have failed life goal number one by now. So thank you doctors!